Actions speak louder then....rejection

so, had toros tonight. guess who always seemed to be near me? oh, thats right. the stupid greek god. i think he feels bad. but oh well. im gettin over him, and it feels good. i have to admit, it hurt a little bit when he danced with laya ( artificial name ). shes one of my best friends. and for a bit there she thought there was something going on between them. when they were dancing in the play, it looks like theres something there. i dunno. personally, it would tear me in half if they started dating. i mean rlly. i dont know what i would do. but, im going to trust her. hopefully she doesnt stab me in the back.
i think moving on is a good thing. no other boys that are seriously in my view. things could be turning around for me here. i could get focused on friends, myself, uno , do some soul searching. now theres just that one fact of the convienient one. hes a boy thats always just, been there. hmm, i dont think anything will happen ever though, so maybe ill just put them boys on the back burner. yeah, good idea. alright, im off for tnight. and ill keep you posted.

Very First Post

alright, so this IS my first post. i just thought i would make a blog becasue i had nothing else to do this one night. my name is Emma Hawes. This is my blogg, or post, or whatever. Im sure ill get better, just watch me.

So i go to Widdifield and im going into grade 10. Uno, the whole highschool shizz. But what im really wondering is how many girls in that school have had their heartbroken? i bet, for ever single bitchy, high haired, skinny, dance whore, there a REALLY good storie. Well, i got my first rejection, heart break, and learning experience last night.

So i liked this guy for a long time, ( just for the record, in this i dont drop any names other then my own, but lets call this guy.....the greek god ) so uno, we knew eachother since i was 8, he would be 10. we swam on opposite swim teams, and every swim meet would flirt and stuff. finally, i caught him, last summer. and it was great. although he had a funny smell. and we had some really akward intimate moments ( is it ever perfect?) but it was overall, my first boyfriend, first relationship, first guy to have hot and heavy makeout sessions with. lol. what? im 15. but see, i started to like him to much, and, well broke up with him cuz i got scared. ligitiment reason right?

anywho, so this whole year i liked him, loads. i never saw him, due to diffrent schools and diffrent friend circles, but i had convinced myself i couldnt get over this fellow. by medeor talkking, i found out he hadnt dated anyone that year at all. i thought i had a chance at giving it another go right? wrong, i was blindsited.

so were both in toros this year ( summer acting group ) and we are seeing eachother everyday. old emotions came back, i started to think i had a chance. so i talked to him, told him how i felt, and found out that he didnt wana date anyone until sept. well, he wasnt to clear.

so last night, i go to talk to him, telling him i didnt wana date anyone until sept either. ( dont forget this is all in person.) what i expected was the farthest thing from what he said. he told me he didnt wana date me, and he was waiting for a girl to come at the end of august. who he had, uno, done the dirty with.

BOOF- blindsited.

so, today is my moping day. i do have to see him tnight. but i thought alot about it, and now, i can get over him, its like closure. he was kind of an ass about it, but i can finally move on from the greek god. i mean, YES, its like being FREE. now, i just gotta find something else to put my sights on. maybe ill take up painting? or DJ'ing. yes readers, change is coming in the very near future. i can feel it.